Monday, March 11, 2013

Deleting the deleting winter.

I really don't want to start off my post by being negative but I must get this out. I hate winter. I really do. It has done nothing but chap my hide this year and I need to wrangle in the negativity.  I sound like a whiny child 60% of the time.  Yet I have continued to live in it for 40 years because it is a quality of life I appreciate. I am rethinking things with the fresh perspective I've gotten the last 3 months, specifically the last week.

It has ruined almost every weekend since my husband moved.

1. We knew it would be rough with him having to go in the winter. I hole-up and never seem to get warm, while dreaming of comfort food. He hates bright, sunny winter days that lie about the real temperature, luring you into a false belief that since the sun is shining, it must be warm. It is hard to stay enthusiastic when it seems like the cold and dark will never go away.

2. We got through the fantasy land of being together over the holidays and that is when winter decided to arrive. I swear there has been a winter storm or blizzard that has come barreling through every fricking weekend we were supposed to have time together. We either have to leave a day early for something oncoming, or cancel entirely because of impending doom.

3. The one stretch of interstate we need to take to be together has got to be the most forlorn, desolate, snow blown, ice covered, wide-open space on the planet next to Siberia. This particular route is prone to closings, whiteouts and for hours 1.5 through cell service. Sunday proved to be particularly awful as my husband left at noonish and did not get to his destination until 11 p.m.  He also took a slight detour into the ditch to avoid an accident and $100 had to be towed out. Mind you, no cell service. He got lucky as there were 9 other vehicles in ditches within a one mile radius, so the tow trucks were out and about rescuing as they came across the poor saps.  When I hadn't heard from him at the right halfway point, I just knew something had happened.  Thank God he was not injured or damage to the vehicle.

So, to find something positive...
1. I like a little sparkly snow and clear, cold, night skies for approximately 2 weeks a year. For Christmas. Call me sentimental, but it just makes the holiday for me. I have great visions of the future where we go for a walk as a family, looking at beautiful lights, watching street performers sing carols on corners while drinking hot chocolate and snacking on cookies, all the while a light dusting of soft snowflakes are floating to the ground.  Yeah, I know...but it could happen.

2. Daylight Savings Time.  Yeah, while the spring forward sucks I relish a little more light. It is the true sign that winter is on its way out and spring is marching in.  Soon there will this slight scent in the air, the wind will be just a little less crisp and the sound of dripping will reach your ears.

3. It will probably flood.  And while we are high and dry most years, it will be a helpful nudge to remind me we are moving somewhere a little warmer with less flooding. It will also remind me of the new adventure and surprises.

4. With my husband having come home for the week, we got SO MUCH DONE!  Taxes, plans, financing, cleaning, a couple repairs, new motivation and reconnection with each other...all things that are necessary to get through this.  I feel the need to clarify from a previous post about me being's not that I am insecure about our marriage.  It is more of a need for reassurance of purpose I guess. It is hard to feel loved from a distance, but it just takes extra work and we both know we are worth it :)

So, on to feeling a little lighter and a little happier. Spring is coming and we've made progress. I found a quote that I like:

"Sometimes when things are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place."

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