Sunday, March 17, 2013

Deleting the naughty...with a little heat.

I am having an affair.

With a heating pad. And, yes I actually said that out loud as I typed it. And no, it's not my first.

I have a really hard time staying warm. My feet often turn white, sort of numb and icy cold. Crawling into bed at night on cold sheets makes me shiver and feel stiff and I just hate it. Husband decided one day to put an old heating pad on my side of the bed under the covers for me...and it changed my life.

My first affair was with Heating Pad the First (HP I). HP I had to have been close to 20 years old or more. In fact, I think he had a previous relationship with Husband's mother, to whom he belonged. He was a pale aqua colored cloth full of little pills and snags that had no cushion, the bottom plastic was completely poked through and I was actually afraid he would start on fire. I felt it was time to move on. I deserved a new heating pad, one of my very own.

Now, Husband is very supportive of my relationships with HP I and HP II. He agreed that HP I was just too dangerous for me. He wanted me to be with something more stable, modern and younger.

This is how I met Heating Pad the Second (HP II). Husband gave him to me either for Christmas or my birthday one year. He is a sky blue color with three heat settings and a timed auto shut-off. He is my companion through the winter, PMS, sore muscles and illness. Sometimes we just hang out while I read a trashy novel or type.

With my husband living in Nebraska I am finding it very hard to stay warm in a bed with an enormous amount of real estate. I love my king size bed, but not having a warm body on the other side leaves the sheets cold and no legs to shove my frozen feet on to keep them from going numb. I fill some of the void by keeping a load of pillows piled next to gives me the illusion he is present without all the twitching.

But I miss our night time ritual nearly as much as I miss him. Almost every night, Husband comes into the bedroom because he finishes getting ready before I do. He turns on the lamp, turns on my turbo fan for white noise, puts HP II in his place of honor and pulls the bedding back over it so my side is nice and warm before I crawl in. So HP II,now I turn you on. You don't turn me on, but you are keeping me warm until I can be cozy by Husband's side again.

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